struggling with faith

You know that feeling when everything is falling down around you and you cant help but know it's all going to be ok, you just don't know how? That feeling of unconditional love for another, no matter what they do or how they hurt you, you will always stand next to them through the hard times, even when they dont always feel like they want you to. The times you feel like God is there, but just want to see signs of him and that everything will work out? Well im at a place like that, except i know God is there and i know he loves me and i love him. Life gets rough and we instantly say "must not have been what God wanted". 99% of the time thats not the case. I am reading a book called "do hard things" (which is a great book) and i beleive the harder things in life tend to be the right ones. Now im not saying thats always the case but like in my case staying next to the girl i love the one and only girl i have ever dated, the girl i waited 18 years to have a girlfriend, and she was the one i chose, she struggles with commitment...and leaves me sometimes telling me we are over, but always comes back because in her heart she knows she loves me. She lost her faith and i pray everyday that God will help her and me and all of my friends. Staying next to her is hard, sometimes feels impossible, but God made me have a heart to stay for a reason. He does the same for you and everyone else out there. Things always happen for a reason, they make us stronger, they make us cry out to God for help. He will break us down in order to lift us back up through him, because with him we are stronger than anything. People always tell me im weak, im pathetic, im not worth it, but seeing what i have been through with Gods help i am stronger than all those people telling me im far from strong. Strength of body only lasts in a fight, but strength of will and heart will last a lifetime. Does it mean im "invincible"? Not in the slightest, alone im strong, with her im stronger, and with all of us im strongest tahts when i feel "invincible" not that i dont mess up and things dont get hard, just feel like no matter what life throws we can make it through. God gives us bonds to those we truly love for a reason. So we can connect on a deeper level. This girl i can always tell when she is lying i know her better than anyone even when she does not see things in herself i tend to see them. her strength is strong and her heart longs for God and loves him as well as me. Life is full of challenges and temptations. Like i have never looked at another girl? PLEASE!, but i have fought through it seeing that the girl i chose was the one worth fighting for. Thank God everyday for the strength he gives us through the hard times and the love he gives us at all times. "I do what i want, but i dont always follow my heart because if i did, i would still be yours" Pray for your friends that need God and so many of them i am sure are longing for God just do not know how to find him. My friends connection to God was her cat she has had since she was a little kid, when it died i was the only connection to God she felt she had, but i fell, making that connection go away. and though i have found my connection to God again i still pray she will too. I know she will and i know that we will have a long happy life together, but God must be the center of all good things ESPECIALLY relationships. If i had realized that before things would not be like this right now, but things will get better, God is forgiving but never do things knowing he will forgive you. By that i mean dont go into something saying "ya its wrong but he will forgive me" because that ends badly. I have made a vow and promise to myself, my love, and my God to stay pure again till i am married, and i intend on doing that no matter how hard it gets. Follow your heart and it will lead you back to us.